Flying the (not so) friendly skies

Some of you might know that I had reason to renew my dusty, old passport recently. I was invited to spend a long weekend in LA; a fantastic time to be sure. My travel there and back gave me a chance to see what has changed in the world of flight since my regular forays back in the pre-9-11 days.

Obviously, I knew the days where my kids were allowed to roam around the cockpit for 20 minute periods were long gone. What I noticed most was how little the flight attendants (is there a newer, more PC term used nowadays?) seemed to do. I mean, pillows and blankets have gone down the same road as open cockpits; nothing aside from non-alcoholic beverages and the air that streams down on you from the mini vents is free. Passengers don't call the flights attendants for A-N-Y-T-H-I-NG! From what I could see, apart from a head count, seat belt check and pouring juice and Coke, they seemed to have little else to do. Small wonder then that they have so much time to screen the wardrobes of boarding passengers. On June 15, US Airways staff insisted a young man hike up his baggy pants and when he refused, they called police and had him arrested! Fine, I don't want to see a stranger's underwear more than you probably do (well, not MOST strangers' underwear!) but a mere SIX DAYS later, the same airline allows the boarding of an old man wearing what seems to be woman's lingerie! Now, if you ask me (and I'm certain if you polled both planes' passengers), most (if not all) would prefer seeing the waistband of a pair of Calvin Klein's atop a pair of jean's waistband rather than a dude's package barely ensconced in a teeny pair of panties. Gawd, I hope they were panties - they didn't show a back view, thankfully!

But enough about ragging on the flight attendant's ... let's talk pilots! Southwest Airlines recently has to discipline one of their pilots who has a problem with old, overweight and gay flight attendants. Not a big deal, you'd think - except when you're stoopid enough to complain about them WITH YOUR MIC OPEN! My favorite part (well, one of them) is that an air traffic controller comes on to warn that someone's mic is on and this dolt doesn't even bother to check his, just keeps whining. It took two warnings before he shut his transmission down.

Yeah, I'm sure the diversity training he was forced to take really stuck.