Dis, dat and dee udder ting . . .

Preface: Considering the subject of this posting, I feel I need to say that I, Elaine P Sawchuk, do NOT hate French Quebecers. As it is said, some of my best friends are Québecois! My 'first' (*wink*) boyfriend was Québecois, I spent 14 years with the Québecois father of my three children and as such, they are also 1/2 French Quebecers. Oh, and the fact that I'm blogging on this subject today, 'la St-Jean' is purely coincidental, I assure you!

This being said, watching reports submitted by Stéphane Giroux on CTV Montreal (the old CFCF-12) drives me up the freakin' wall!!! When he was first hired by this major English speaking station back in 1994, I remember being surprised that an anglophone station would hire a francophone with such a thick French accent. I listened to him stammer his way through reports, mispronouncing words throughout and replacing every 'th' sound with the letter 'd', as all French speaking Quebecers learning English do. Two years later, I moved to Europe and upon my return in 2000, I was really surprised to see he was still employed at the station.

Well, here we are 17 years into his on air appearances. I'll agree that Monsieur Giroux's pronunciation of the English language has improved. The man still can't pronounce 'th' though, a staple of the language. I wince when the newscaster hands off to Stéphane Giroux, knowing what is to come. The subsequent report is a teeth-grinding and nails-on-the-blackboard experience for me. Could I leave the room or change channels? Surely! Unfortunately, Monsieur Giroux's reports are usually about topics of interest to me - crime and criminal trials.

So shoot me. I happen to believe that an English speaking channel should have reporters who are not abrasive to their viewers. I find having to deal with Monsieur Giroux's accent to be abrasive. What irks me to no end is that NO WHERE on any major French speaking station in Quebec will you find an anglophone reporter 'maganaying' the French language.

So, how has this guy lasted on this station this long? Who IS this Stéphane Giroux anyhow ... the secret love child of Lloyd Robertson and Bill Haugland?!?

PS In trying to find a pic of Stéphane Giroux to accompany this posting, I found one. ONE! The one from his online bio. My gawd, there are more pics of ME online (excluding Facebook, I mean) and I'm a nobody! YouTube the guy and there's nothing either. NOTHING! 17 years on a major station and he's transparent! Hmmm ... is der a story to dis???

Flying the (not so) friendly skies

Some of you might know that I had reason to renew my dusty, old passport recently. I was invited to spend a long weekend in LA; a fantastic time to be sure. My travel there and back gave me a chance to see what has changed in the world of flight since my regular forays back in the pre-9-11 days.

Obviously, I knew the days where my kids were allowed to roam around the cockpit for 20 minute periods were long gone. What I noticed most was how little the flight attendants (is there a newer, more PC term used nowadays?) seemed to do. I mean, pillows and blankets have gone down the same road as open cockpits; nothing aside from non-alcoholic beverages and the air that streams down on you from the mini vents is free. Passengers don't call the flights attendants for A-N-Y-T-H-I-NG! From what I could see, apart from a head count, seat belt check and pouring juice and Coke, they seemed to have little else to do. Small wonder then that they have so much time to screen the wardrobes of boarding passengers. On June 15, US Airways staff insisted a young man hike up his baggy pants and when he refused, they called police and had him arrested! Fine, I don't want to see a stranger's underwear more than you probably do (well, not MOST strangers' underwear!) but a mere SIX DAYS later, the same airline allows the boarding of an old man wearing what seems to be woman's lingerie! Now, if you ask me (and I'm certain if you polled both planes' passengers), most (if not all) would prefer seeing the waistband of a pair of Calvin Klein's atop a pair of jean's waistband rather than a dude's package barely ensconced in a teeny pair of panties. Gawd, I hope they were panties - they didn't show a back view, thankfully!

But enough about ragging on the flight attendant's ... let's talk pilots! Southwest Airlines recently has to discipline one of their pilots who has a problem with old, overweight and gay flight attendants. Not a big deal, you'd think - except when you're stoopid enough to complain about them WITH YOUR MIC OPEN! My favorite part (well, one of them) is that an air traffic controller comes on to warn that someone's mic is on and this dolt doesn't even bother to check his, just keeps whining. It took two warnings before he shut his transmission down.

Yeah, I'm sure the diversity training he was forced to take really stuck.

Dude ! Where are your manners ? ! ?

Alright, I admit it - I have ranted and raved about this subject before back when I was Laynee (on my previous blog). For those of you who read it, feel free to move along, nothing new to see here. I was compelled to reblog about it, however, because sadly the situation still exits ...

Back last week when I was headed home following Jordan's skydiving adventure (see previous posting), I decided I would take the scenic route. It was a stunningly beautiful day - hot, bright and sunny. Jack was hanging out an open window and Van Halen was pounding out of the speakers. I came around a slight curve and saw an old man walking on the road up ahead. Naturally, I slowed down and gave the man a very wide berth. Checking my rear view mirror, I start to slide back into my lane only to notice the old man is still hugging the side of the road. I keep watching the rear view mirror and to my amazement, he whips it out. Yes. IT! He did! Once again, yet another man has decided to take a whiz in the great outdoors. While this is hardly the first time that I have been privy subjected to seeing a guy take a leak outside, I am still shocked when it happens. That particular day, once I got over my initial amazement, I tried to rationalize this stranger's behaviour. He's an old man, I thought, maybe he couldn't wait until he got home. Then Logical Elaine kicked in (she always does!). When, I asked myself, was the last time I saw an old woman hiking up her dress and squatting to void her bladder roadside? NEVER! For some reason, women have come to realize that the world is not our toilet, a fact that seems to escape a great many of the male gender. I have no problem with the idea of stopping on the side of the highway to hustle a young child out of a vehicle so they can pee; I have done it on occasion when my own kids were small. The point is, kids have not yet mastered the art of self-control. Adults, on the other hand, are supposed to have achieved that level of physical and social development. Yet all over the planet, there are scads and scads of men who apparently still need their mom, girlfriend, wife, fiancée, roommate, best bud, boss or whoever to ask them if they remembered to go pee pee before they head out. C'mon guys! Go tinkle BEFORE you go out. And if the urge hits while you're out, find a bathroom or gee, I don't know ... try holding it? (Umm, for those of you who can't, they have bladder control that looks like underwear these days, ya know!) Failing all that, you risk grossing out women everywhere ... and descending a rung or two down the evolutionary ladder ... not to mention, a hefty $365 fine!

Now, if you'll pardon me, I'm off to the powder room ... to, umm, powder my nose!  ;-)